Oh yes, about the the sushi police and the European response lead by the Earl of Sandwich that I was blithering on about. I spotted two Italians who must have been sent to revenge the "Neapolitan sandwich" and other Japanese food crimes against their nation. The two counter-culinarists came into Starbucks, all loud talking and gesturing. For a moment GordonThoughtHeHadGoneToItaly. Never mind it was an American cafe in Tokyo; "the menu says espresso and cappuccino and so its our culture," was what I supposed was their thinking. They blocked the aisle with their hand gestures, they spent ages deciding what to order, they tried to chat with the staff before announcing "Due Espresso!" and then they stood at the little service bar drinking them, while everyone else politely squeezed around them to pick up their own drinks. It was a right culture clash.

It was exactly the kind of situation that Japanese people dread - foreigner on the loose. The staff had obviously been trained in this and their response - maintain polite smile, increase bowing rate, don't panic - was admirable but ineffective. Everyone else, myself included, looked away for fear of being talked to.

This is the standard response towards foreigners. On the trains I regularly have two empty seats next to me, even if it's crowded. I had thought that this was a personal issue (girth or odour, not sure which) until I heard of other foreigners say the same thing and complain about not being accepted here (Mostly Australians and Americans. They expect to fit in. Old-worlders know that even if you live in Crewe all your life, one weekend break in Eccles brands you a pretentious outsider, who thinks he's better than you and is probably a poofter too) The real reason is that they are afraid that the foreigner might talk to them and it would be embarrassing. I know this because I too don't sit next to foreigners on the trains for fear that they will talk to me. You could almost say I was fitting-in by not talking to people.