We all know that the Japanese invented football. Well, not really, but they had a game called kemari which was a cultured keepy-uppy game played in traditional garb around 600AD. This is the Japanese character for kemari which, in case you don't have the Japanese fonts installed, looks almost exactly like Hide Nakata doing a fancy move while wingeing about his team mates.

Then the Chinese added the goal posts and the British added the rules and the Argentinians added cheating and that's why we never win but I don't really mean it because they're actually very good now.